Disloyal: The Hallowed Crows MC Book 3
Disloyal
Hallowed Crows MC -3-
G.N. Wright
Copyright © 2022 by G.N. Wright
All rights reserved.
No part of this publication may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, businesses, companies, organizations, locales, events and incidents are either a figment of the authors imagination or used fictitiously. Any resembles to any person, living or dead, is unintentional.
The author acknowledges trademark status and trademark owners of various products referred to in this work of fiction.
This author does not have any control over and does not assume any responsibility for author or third party websites or their content.
Content editor: Samantha Bee
Cover Design: Samantha Wildeboer at Sunset Bibliophile
Created with Vellum
For the trauma that always comes back and bites us in the ass!
Contents
Author Note
Playlist
Prologue
1. Rebeeca
2. Angel
3. Rebecca
4. Killian
5. Ezra
6. Rebecca
7. Aiden
8. Rebecca
9. Killian
10. Angel
11. Ezra
12. Rebecca
13. Aiden
14. Rebecca
15. Rebecca
16. Angel
17. Killian
18. Aiden
19. Rebecca
20. Ezra
21. Rebecca
22. Angel
23. Killian
24. Rebecca
25. Rebecca
26. Aiden
27. Rebecca
28. Ezra
29. Killian
30. Rebecca
31. Aiden
32. Angel
33. Rebecca
34. Ezra
35. Rebecca
Afterword
Acknowledgments
Also by G.N. Wright
About the Author
Author Note
Okay you’re not new here. By now you are fully patched members of the HCMC which means you know what’s up.
The Hallowed Crows MC series is a dark why choose romance. Please don't take that lightly and read the following warning before diving in.
Disloyal is the third book in the Hallowed Crows MC series and cannot be read as a standalone and please note it does end on a cliffhanger.
In this book we see the continuation of the story between Rebecca and all our favorite Crows and while angst filled and spicy at times, please understand that some situations and descriptions may be triggering.
You will read actions of physical, mental, and sexual abuse, and see the effects of both PTSD and anxiety. The FMC and her men use sexual experiences to heal themselves and try to escape the trauma they have experienced. These scenes fall into the dark aspects of dark romance and should be considered heavily before reading.
There is also graphic violence, sexual violence including rape and attempted rape, the use of some derogatory terms, and other dark themes that readers may find not enjoyable.
This new adult romance is a why choose romance meaning the heroine will not choose a love interest at the end and includes graphic sex scenes that explore kinks including blood play, knife play, humiliation, degradation, and situations of dubious and non consent. There are group sex scenes included throughout and also some male on male content.
If none of the above is to your liking then this book is not for you. If you would like any further details on any of the above then please reach out to me to discuss before reading.
Playlist
Listen on Spotify
Nothing Is As It Seems - Hidden Citizens, Ruelle
Stockholm syndrome - ARCANA
Don’t Blame Me - Taylor Swift
Love Is Madness - Thirty Seconds To Mars, Halsey
Every Time You Leave - I Prevail, Delaney Jane
Sever - Hurtwave
Take My Breath Away // Noose - Capstan
Breaking Down - I Prevail
Heavier - Rain City Drive
Already Numb - Dayseeker
What Hurts The Most - State of Mind
Amen - Halestorm
Ghost - Badflower
Redemption - Besomorph, Coopex, RIELL
Painkiller - Ruel
Numb Without You - The Maine
Run - Snow Patrol
Control - Loveless
Scars - I Prevail
Killing Me - CRIM
I Don’t Belong Here - I Prevail
The Stages of Grief - Awaken I am
Monster Made of Memories - Citizen Soldier
River Run - Benjamin Josif, Rupert Pope
Bad Things - I Prevail
I Don’t Need You - Asking Alexandria, Grace Grundy
Peace of Mind - Villain of the Story
11 Minutes - Sunsleep
Tell Me Your Secret - Prelow
To Tell You The Truth - Written by Wolves
I Can’t Breathe - Bea Miller
Him & I - G Easy, Halsey
Love Me Better - MOTHICA
Tell Me How - Paramore
On Top - Kelly
Happier Than Ever - Loveless
Worship - Chymes
Bird Set Free - Sia
Take Me First - Bad Omens
Burial Plot - Dayseeker
SIX MONTHS AGO
Twenty-two months and fifteen days. That's how long I’ve been here. Almost two years. Two years since I was brought here against my will. Since I was taken, beaten down, and molded into the perfect possession of Mayor Carter Fitzgerald. In that time I have learned the error of my ways, learned how to be good for him, and how to be punished by him. He is my master and I serve him. He commands and I obey, and if I am lucky enough, I get rewarded. If I’m unlucky, well, let’s just say I hate to be unlucky.
My entire world revolves around him and his needs. I haven’t been outside, I haven't spoken to anyone other than him and a few select people, and haven’t done anything that wasn’t to serve him. I should be afraid, I was when I came here, I even tried to escape, but now I am home.
I am trapped in his cage made of gold and despite the cruelty, I want for nothing. I have clothes, shoes, jewels, anything my heart could ever desire. Anything except my freedom. Every day here has been like a chisel to the blackened armor I used to possess, the one my father taught me how to wield. A new chip appears with every second I spend in this place, but this is my home now. I don’t miss my old life, I forbid myself to. I blocked it out of my mind because the only thing that can hurt me more than he does, is hope.
During my time here, the main thing I have learnt is that Carter likes things a certain way. It took me a little while to catch onto that when I first got here, but now I am perfect at everything he desires. It's why at 7pm every night I am dressed and ready for inspection before we share dinner. He picks out everything. From my makeup, to my dress, to my underwear. All of it carefully selected for his pleasure.
That sums up Mayor Carter Fitzgerald to perfection. A man of perfectly preselected pleasure. He isn't wild, rash, or unpredictable. He's controlled, careful, and completely calculating. He doesn't need to hit you to cause you pain. Not that he hasn’t shown me his brutish lessons. No, instead he digs deep, discovers your weaknesses and then exploits them for his own gain. He's meticulous in everything he does and that extends to nothing more than me.
I’ve been battered, abused, torn down, and humiliated, but it’s just because he is trying to make me a better version of myself. He is just trying to help me. He wants me to be better for him, to be worthy of becoming his wife, I know that, and I also know things will change when I eventually become Mrs Fitzgerald. I’m just waiting for that ring to slip onto my finger so I can feel another shackle of control snap into place against my skin. That will be the final nail in my coffin.
Carter may possess me but he has never tried to go beyond watching me. Never touched me outside of violence, and the anticipation of waiting for the day that changes is almost worse than anything else. Waiting for the day he decides to no longer play nice with me. When he is sick of watching me pleasure myself and wants to do it himself. To ruin my body like he has already ruined my mind. He thinks he loves me, he thinks I love him. But he’s wrong. I don’t love anything, not anymore. I thought I was in love once, but they betrayed me. Left me broken and vulnerable, and that led me to where I am now. My cage, my home.
Except now we are leaving.
We never leave. No, wait, that’s not right, correction, I never leave. I haven't left this house since the night I got here. He's never even mentioned it as an option, never trained me for it, so I'm not sure what to expect. Nothing short of being his perfect little rose I'm sure.
He’s been stressed this week, talking more on the phone, being snappier than usual, even with me. I put it down to work stress, but now I’m not so sure. My outfit for this evening isn’t my usual attire, well not until bedtime anyway. He left black lingerie with a matching black satin nightgown on his bed for me, no instruction needed. I fix my hair the way he likes, and do my makeup in its usual way, subtle yet fli
rty, and once my outfit is in place I head to the dining room doorway just in time for the clock to strike seven. Show time.
He told me we were going out. Where, I’m not sure, and in this outfit I don't really want to imagine. So I do nothing but wait. I keep my face in its usual blank mask, but I am finding it hard to calm my heart rate, the possibilities of tonight are endless. The things I've seen in the last two years I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. The crimes he has committed, the acts he has performed, all of them so crass and corrupt that if the people of Black Hallows knew their Mayor at all they would shudder in their so-called safe, pretty little beds.
When his footsteps sound out from down the hall, I take a deep breath and bow my head to the floor in preparation. When he finally stalks inside, everything else melts away. I don’t move, his presence doing nothing to me anymore. No fear, no anxiety, just complete and utter compliance. I look up at him from through my lashes and note that his hair is disheveled from constantly running his hands through it, and in the hopes of trying to improve his mood, I offer him his favorite smile, but it does nothing to appease his mood.
Carter Fitzgerald is a beautiful man. Poised, perfect and completely enticing. He’s the kind of guy you dream to look your way. But only because you don’t know that his beauty is only skin deep. It has been wasted on me though, even if we met in different circumstances. The beauty I covet can only be found in rough and rugged men. The kind you are warned away from. The ones you don’t tell your friends about, but still fantasize about them anyway. The ones I don’t dare to think about anymore. They are dead to me like I am dead to them. At least that’s the lie that keeps me in line here.
Carter leans in and drops a kiss to my cheek. “Sorry I’m a little late.” His usual scent clouds around me and I take comfort in it in a way I know I shouldn’t, but it is just too familiar to me now. He may be a monster, but he has become my monster.
My smile doesn’t falter as I respond, “It’s okay, sir.” He smiles for the first time all day and lets his gaze drop down to my body.
His groan would make anyone else blush, but after everything he has done to me and others, all I do is push down the gag in my throat like I have done a thousand times before. “You look too good to be leaving the house, my little rose.”
I risk his wrath when I can’t help but ask. “Why are we?”
The rage I expect doesn't come, instead he still looks tense, hesitant even, like he doesn’t really want to leave, doesn’t want me to leave, but he has no choice. I can't imagine a man like Carter Fitzgerald ever not having a choice in anything. I wait for him to respond, seeing the war of different answers battling across his face, but nothing comes.
Finally he exhales a breath and clicks his fingers and Jeffrey appears like the loyal servant he is. He hands Carter a glass of champagne which he immediately offers to me. “Drink up, we are going to be late.”
It isn’t worth hesitating or even trying to refuse, I just take the glass and slowly drink it in its entirety. The bubbles fizzle out on the back of my tongue as I swallow, and I have barely returned the glass before Carter is dragging me through the foyer and towards the front door. I haven’t been this close to it since the day I tried to escape. Carter must sense my trail of thoughts because just as he fists the handle, he abruptly stops and turns to me.
“Don’t make me regret this, Rebecca, I’ve got enough shit I need to deal with this week, do not disappoint me.” His tone is distant, cold, very much like the one I was up close and personal with during my first weeks here. The one I knew to be afraid of.
His stare is fixed on my face like he is tracing every one of my features into his memory one last time, and I find myself wanting to reach out to him. To beg him to tell me what is going on, but I don’t. My head starts to feel a little fuzzy, and I move into his side for better support and let my eyes trail up to his. “I promise I’ll behave, sir.”
His eyes soften as he takes in my words, and they aren’t even a lie, I will behave. I won’t do anything that would risk setting him off. I don’t care where we are going, it will always be better the devil you know, and there is no darker devil than him. At least being with him, being by his side, I know what to expect, know how to handle it.
This is my home now and I won’t let anything change that.
When we step outside the fresh air almost chokes me, and for the first time in almost two years, the goosebumps on my skin are from being cold and not out of fear. I want to tip my head back and face the sky, let the evening moon burn into my skin like I have constantly yearned for, but Carter is already shoving me inside the back of his black town car. This is the car that brought me here, kind of ironic that I am now leaving in it. Although it’s not like I won’t be back here later.
I let my eyes trail around, taking in the garden I have longed to walk in, and the sky that is sparkling with stars. Two years really changes your view of things. Carter’s grip finds my knee and I almost flinch thanks to being distracted, but I manage to lock it down and look at him with a soft smile. He squeezes my leg roughly in silent warning, and then focuses out of the window as we leave the house and drive out into the unknown.
The dizziness hits me like a freight train and I know instantly that the glass of champagne had something in it to make me more than relaxed. It’s not the first time I have been drugged by him, and it won’t be the last. I can barely concentrate and everything seems to be happening in flashes. Driving, stopping, getting out of the car, entering a large building, the flashing lights, people dancing, music thumping. I think we are in some kind of club, but I can’t concentrate enough to be sure. By the time I can bring myself to force some focus again, Carter is leading me down a dull hallway, passing numerous doors as we go. Where the hell are we?
We reach the one he was clearly looking for and we enter, finding there is already someone inside. He and Carter shake hands and exchange words, but still I am barely taking anything in, just too confused as to what is going on and why we are here. Carter escorts me into a seat next to him and I can only focus on bits and pieces of information they exchange as I try to calm my rapid heart rate.
“She is barely a teenager, she can’t be that much of a threat.” The man says and I flinch at Carter’s calculated chuckle as he responds smoothly, “You ask our mutual friend how much trouble an eighteen year old can really be.” The man doesn’t answer, or if he does, I don’t register it, I just barely catch Carter's next words as he commands. “I need to find him, he is the only one who can help me.”